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It All Depends on How You Look at It.
My accountant, or more properly, the man who charges me money to fill in my horrendously complex tax form, told me that this job is costing me three thousand pounds a year to do. This might explain why I never seem to have much money. A plea for each fully signed up member of the Church of England to add to their weekly collection the cash equivalent of the price of a large sliced loaf (white, medium cut) so that we clerks in holy orders could be paid a more realistic stipend was, quite prudently, rejected as impractical. I agree. It is.
Stung by the indignity of it all I shot off a Mr. Angry letter. It was so grossly unfair to most of our congregation that I scrapped it and penned a Mr. Sad missive. It looked equally ridiculous so I wiped the lot and began to count my blessings.
Money, luckily, isn’t everything but support is. We had a splendid Easter. That season is always a bit of a strain. I have recurring nightmares about putting on services and nobody turning up. As usual, my fears were totally unfounded. In fact, the Monday of Holy Week had The Holy Nativity bursting at the seams with the assembled ranks of the Deanery Mothers’ Union. Being in a church full of women strikes fear into my heart but there were other men there to reassure me. I kept the key to the back door always to hand.
In the good old days the Vicar used to receive the collection on Easter Sunday, that was until the Diocese decided that they were entitled to it (robber barons did not die out in the Middle Ages). The loss of this bonus was made up for by so many kind gifts and a whole window-ledge full of cards. Easter Day saw the churches characteristically cheerfully crowded, which gladdened my heart. On Easter Monday the Vicarage was full of people for the coffee morning, which was more like a party than a fund-raising event. Easter Week was so busy that we didn’t have the break which the bishops insist that we do, and I, for one, was glad. Even Low Sunday, that traditional day of half-empty churches, exceeded all expectations.
This month we have Ascension Day to anticipate, and that wonderful Day of Pentecost. Things are looking positively rosy.
God bless you all, Fr Allan.
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