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It's Not Rocket Science
January 1st, besides being the Feast of the Circumcision (retitled “The Naming of Jesus” for the squeamish), is also the day on which the revised list of fees comes into force. Every year the High Court of Parliament flexes its muscles and orders we Clerks in Holy orders to increase the cost of a wedding, a funeral, and several other things which go on in, and around Anglican churches. We have no choice in the matter. Tony has spoken. The rising cost won’t put off people from coming to church for the special occasions in life.
Why? Because Her Majesty’s Government, to which we in the Church by Law Established must pay due obeisance, has come up with an idea. They thought of a good way to make a fast buck. Why bother with church? Why sit in a cold, damp relic of a building when you could luxuriate in the warmth of a modern, flock wallpapered hostelry? Did you know that your child can circumvent Holy Baptism and have a civil naming ceremony? It will only cost you £200. Baptism is free.
And if you pop your clogs, why go to all the trouble of having a dreary old cleric intoning the burial office over you? For a mere £180 the registrar (with a whole three days training) can do it for you. A church funeral costs £78. No contest!
Having thought up these schemes, with the intention of keeping the public out of church and making money for the exchequer, the government is now threatening to introduce yet another of their infamous stealth taxes. If anyone enters a place of worship to be entertained the church will be required to pay for a licence, costing anything from a hundred to a thousand pounds. Don’t appear to be enjoying the service or the Town Hall inspectors will be waiting to pounce.
This sounds very much like state persecution. Christians have survived worse from such Emperors as Nero, Diocletian and Vespasian. Does Whitehall think that we will tremble at the posturing of a few champagne socialists? Even someone with blu-tack for a brain could see that this beleaguered institution has Jesus Christ for its head and is capable of bouncing back from worse set-backs than this, and we will!
May God bless you all, Fr Allan
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