Back to index of vicar's letters - Back to the main index
People shall not live on baked items alone
It is not that I object to the women taking over the world; they were already in charge of it. I know that because my wife told me so, and who am I to argue? What really irks me are the politically correct, wishy-washy, airy-fairy, liberals excising all traces of the male gender from holy scripture.
Jesus, I am sure, never said, “follow me and I will make you fishers of people”. I can imagine Sunday School children trying unsuccessfully to fit that into the popular jingle. Unlike Goldilocks, I do not have forebears, nor even three, but forefathers. What is it with these people that they think that they can obliterate mankind and substitute humanity in its place? It is a type of ethnic cleansing. The ecclesiastical thought police hover with their liquid paper, ready to pounce on any hint of masculinity and savagely neuter it.
This orgy of literary castration has spread to the liturgy. We can no longer tell God that we have sinned against him and against our fellow men, perish the thought. “Fellow men” have become “neighbours”, which causes me difficulties because I get on quite well with the people next door and I don't want them to find out that I go to church every day and publicly confess that I have wronged them. They might believe it.
We chaps dare not be men any more. The women have pinched our very clothes. Passing a teenage bimbo when I was wearing my accustomed black cassock (which is a long coat) I was shocked to hear her comment loudly that I was dressed in a woman's frock. Looking her up and down, I enquired imperiously why she was wearing men's trousers. She bridled and angrily replied that she wasn't. She was. They all are.
Not that our congregations will have noticed the attempt by the rampant feminists to take over the word of God. Being a male chauvinist biblical fundamentalist, I tend to reinsert the naughty words and change the readings back to their original form when I read from them in church. I long for the day when a bishop tells me that I can burn all the versions of the Bible that have erred on the side of trendiness. As long as it isn't a woman bishop who does it, that is.
May God bless you all, Fr Allan
Back to index of vicar's letters - Back to the main index